A Double Dawg Dare

12 Jan

Last week before I caught the stomach bug, Old Woman in the Shoe, mentioned a documentary called Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead. Then, another mom recommended the film through a homeschooling listserve. I intended to watch the movie when I found the time. As it turns out, the next day I was hung over the toilet vomiting up all those collard greens. If you did not read about that adventure it is here.

Once in a blue moon when I get sick on a week day and my husband’s work schedule permits, I can actually take a day off from the young’uns to recuperate. Last Friday was one of those days. No one ever told me before kids that I might be a little giddy about getting a stomach virus one day, if only, to be able to stay in bed. Had I known that, I might have elected to be in a corner office by now. Fortunately for the human race, moms find out later.

So what did I do on my barfing-sick day off? Well, for one, I wrote a blog post. I also listened to some excellent lectures from a deen-intensive retreat which had been held in Bursa, Turkey last year and is now available with a online subscription.  Finally, I watched Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead. It features two men with chronic diseases who were able to rid themselves of powerful pharmaceutical drugs by radically changing their diets and becoming more physically active. They started out with sixty days of a detoxing juice fast, whereby they only consumed fruits and vegetables prepared with a juicer.

I enjoyed the documentary so much I watched it again last weekend with my husband, and then I announced my intention to embark on a mini version of this detoxing program for ten days to see if it would help alleviate my  hypoglycemia and caffeine dependence. I have another health condition; it occurs when dinner is on the stove, and the house needs picking up, and the kids are getting cranky, and my husband isn’t home from work yet to help out, and my son reminds me that he needs materials for a science project, due soon, and I want to run like Forest Gump- far, far away. I’m sure there is a multi-syllable medical term for that illness, but I call it: Totally-Want-to-Freak-Out!

My husband snidely congratulated me, and when I prodded him to see if we might partner on this project, he said he’d drink the juice as long as he could eat his fried chicken with it. Never mind, I consoled myself, that’s what girlfriends are for. So, my friend and I are scheduled to go out this Sunday night for a last meal before going cold turkey on Monday, God Willing.

I needed a juicer, of course, to start the detox which I did not have, and soon found out that a swank Breville juicer like the one featured in the film can run upwards of $300. The last pair of never worn name-brand shoes I bought cost $3.50, thanks to my thrifting-swagger, so the thought of paying $300 for something that was intended to make me healthy actually made me feel a little bit sick. We’ve got orthodontics and tuition to blow our money on, we can’t afford to party on juicers.

So, armed with a recommendation from a subscription to a consumer reporting agency, I discovered that a $70 juicer ranked just a little bit higher than some of the ubber-expensive elite brands. Hamilton Beach, Baby!! When it finally arrives in the mail, it’ll go right next to my chichi Oster Blender.

As ecstatic as I am to start plunging my system with juice, I know, the minute a cold glass of kale hits my taste buds I’m probably going to have convulsions and beg one of my small children to inject a cup of coffee into my veins, ANY VEIN!!

As hard as mamahood is I have to go and do crazy stuff like this. That is true, but I feel that I need a jumpstart on my health. I don’t have weight problems, but having a high metabolism is not synonymous with being healthy. I have an active lifestyle, especially in the warmer months when I live outside, which is great. I even consume mostly a Mediterranean diet, sans the alcohol and with liberal helpings of collard greens. Still, I consume plenty – too much -sugar, salt and caffeine. 

I came across this hadith recently which increased by desire to rid my diet of creature-comfort food and my beverage of choice:

The family of Muhammad did not eat two meals on one day, but one of the two was of dates.” (Narrated Aisha, Sahih Al-Bukhari, Hadith No. 462, Vol. 8).

This statement stands in contrast to the amount of preservatives and artificial fuel we feed our bodies. Many of us, absent Ramadan, are constantly feeding ourselves and our children a constant flow of meals, snacks, and beverages. It is as if we are depriving ourselves of something if we go hungry between meals. This cycle makes supererogatory fasting more difficult and muddled with brain-fog.

I pray that this detox works to cleanse my physical state, with which I hope to climb more mountains in my spiritual life. In short, as part of my Be a Big Girl challenge, I hope it will be a catalyst to de-clutter my body and soul.

I hope to blog more on this in the upcoming days and weeks. If you are detoxing yourself, or if you have detoxed before, I’d love to hear your comments. Please tell me there is life after coffee. If you’ve never detoxed before then I double dawg dare ya’ to try it out with me. I don’t know about you, but when someone double dawg dares me to do anything it usually means I’m going to live to tell about it. How about you?

Much Love,



23 Responses to “A Double Dawg Dare”

  1. Pam January 12, 2012 at 8:28 am #

    Assalamu alaikum, Insha’Allah your cleanse will go well. I know I could use one. My problem when I did a cleanse a few years ago, was that I missed eating with my family. It felt weird to only be drinking juice. Maybe I’ll give it another try. I could use the energy that might come with a good cleanse. Allah hafiz, Pam

    • CollardGreenMuslim January 12, 2012 at 8:37 am #

      I think that is going to be the toughest challenge for me. Never mind! What am I saying?! Giving up caffeine is going to be the hardest part I think. That is why I’m hoping to do it with other ladies. If you are going to do it send me a shout out. I’ll be rooting for you God willing.

  2. Sarah January 12, 2012 at 9:54 am #

    I have been looking for ways to boost my energy. I know if I have a bit more energy and a bit more of a support system I can loose the weight I need too. Caffeine for me is hard to let go. I am at the point going more than 4 hours without Caffeine I get monster size headaches. I met you yesterday at my daughter’s school I came home and read your blog and realized that you come from a few place’s that I am very familiar with. Reading this gives me hope that I can achieve my goals and have the support that I need with the few people in my life. Thank you I wish you luck on your journey to a healthier you.

    • CollardGreenMuslim January 12, 2012 at 4:25 pm #

      Sarah, you don’t know how thrilled I was to meet another Collard Green Muslim at the school yesterday. I’m excited about getting our girls together (err…I mean your girls, my girl). You will probably see me at my worst next week without caffeine – I’ll try to be on my best Big Girl behavior. Thanks for your well-wishes – the same to you!

  3. Humble Mom January 12, 2012 at 10:05 am #

    lol, I am ahead of you, darling! I don’t do caffeine and most sugars in my life come from fruits, yes super goody-goody! However, I will have to follow your lead on the juicing. I am not quite ready to go cold turkey. I just started following Shaykh Hamza’s advice of only eating meat once a week, he was the one that first recommended the movie Fat, Sick, Nearly Dead and where the fad started amongst the Muslims. Unfortunately they keep deleting the Reviving the Islamic Spirit Dec 2011 video, due to copyright.

    Once I can stick with the meat 1x week, maybe I can go Vegan, and then move to a smoothie fast. Like you, blender/juicer I want- Vitamix is way out of budget at $500 +, so I thought regular smoothies would be a good alternative. I am cheering you on and pray that you are successful. Then when I am ready for a real juice fast, you can do another one with me.

    • CollardGreenMuslim January 12, 2012 at 4:29 pm #

      $500 + for a juicer?! At that price it better get in the kitchen, get on its hands and knees with a toothbrush and clean the grout in my kitchen and then move onto to the dishes!
      I know you are a big fat leapfrog step ahead of me…I was so startled when you turned down my super sweet Moroccan tea for a herbal remedy instead. It was love at first sight. You inspired me, woman!
      Here’s to our health! Looking forward to seeing you soon Insha’Allah.

  4. Anna January 12, 2012 at 6:55 pm #

    Hiya. I’m not detoxing, nor thinking of it, but I’ve seen you at Hil’s and thought I’d come on over. I’m her friend from England. I do hope you have some down-time built into your schedule apart from when you’re sick. Sounds like you’re doing a fantastic job. Anna x

    • CollardGreenMuslim January 12, 2012 at 8:46 pm #

      Hiya back Anna! Thanks for stopping by. A friend of Hil’s is a friend of mine. I do have some down time, but a whole day – only when I’m sick. Thanks for your kind words; I’ll hope you’ll come back.

  5. amatullah23 January 12, 2012 at 9:10 pm #

    loved this post, I was chuckling the entire read;^) Oh, and shivering, too because apparently this fasting makes you cold. I’m on Day 3, hopefully the last “hard day” and it sb smooth sailing from here on out, right? Right??

    Because I’ve been craving things I haven’t eaten or even SEEN in years and I am making grand plans to gorge myself on all the things I’m missing once this is over. I’ve even started a small collection of foods I’d like to eat later (2 weeks out) in the freezer. I am absolutely ridiculous, I know.

    But the journey is purely mental (or so I hear) and these things help soothe my cravings like the 40th trip to the front door at night before bed does for the OCD-er. I wish you’d told me about the last meal- that would have been the only way I would have waited. I had to start, though, before I chickened out. I thought about joining you guys for the meal, but then remembered I’m juicing. Yeah, it’s like that.

    Start to wean yourself off of coffee slowly before you start on Mon, insha’Allah. It’ll make the going easier. And remember, I’m here for you!

    • CollardGreenMuslim January 12, 2012 at 9:44 pm #

      You are making me excited and scared at the same time. All fantasies of gorging aside, do you think you may tilt more toward the raw food diet when this is over? I keep thinking of you. I am so inspired. Keep chugging along, literally.

  6. Jacqueline January 12, 2012 at 9:10 pm #

    Asalaamu Alaikum !!!!!!!!!!!
    I love these types of dares. Let’s do it. My husband is doing it too. We do juice for breakfast occasionally, but have been thinking about juice fasting. Shrukan, now we are definitely going to do it and mashaAllah, not alone. InshaAllah, we will be inspired greatly on this journey together. Here is to better health and habits.

    • CollardGreenMuslim January 12, 2012 at 9:53 pm #

      Can you purty please tell your husband to call my husband!? My husband will likely tease me one too many times whilst I’m coffee deprived and I’ll flip out. I really wish he would accept this double dawg dare. I’m so tickled that you are in. Let me know if you’re up for a ladies night out ~ the last meal!

      • Jacqueline January 13, 2012 at 11:47 am #

        When? Tomorrow? or Sunday? Let me know what are you planning and where were you planning to go.

  7. Jacqueline January 12, 2012 at 9:11 pm #

    I forgot, watch fork over knives, too.

  8. omwits January 16, 2012 at 10:27 am #

    Asalaamu Alaikum

    Just to set the record straight..ahem..I watched this movie BEFORE Hamza suggested it at RIS! And yesterday I actually bought kale for the first time. Have yet to eat it though.

    • Sarah January 16, 2012 at 1:16 pm #

      I used some in a smoothie that I made. I used a mango, peach, milk, ice and a little sugar. Couldn’t even taste the kale. Loved it so much I had 2 6 oz glasses of it and my girls each had a 4 oz cup of it.

  9. Elizabeth January 27, 2012 at 11:05 pm #

    I have been hearing about the documentary all over the place and finally watched it. On top of trying to work on my diet, I have been exercising lately. But I think I want to try a juice fast. I’ve been fasting Ramadan for years now… seriously it can’t be too hard for us, right? 🙂 I think I’ll run to the bookstore tomorrow and look for the juicing bible. Care to share any recipes or advice?

  10. CollardGreenMuslim January 28, 2012 at 12:25 am #

    Asalaamu’Alaikum Elizabeth,

    I LOVED the juice fast, especially after I got over the 3 day hump. It’s been a wonderful kick-start to even healthier eating…I’m now off of caffeine, all processed foods, refined sugars, plus gobbles of salt and I feel so much more energetic and optimistic. I love the green juice from the Reboot website – I add carrots to mine. You can find that recipe on my Day Three report-back. Insha’Allah soon I will post about my post-fast. If you decide to fast, let me know so I can make du’a for you and root for you. You will positively hate me on day one! By day 5 you’ll think I’m not so bad. By day 10 you’ll be too energetic and busy with adventures to remember that you were mad at me!

    • lizlamnaii January 28, 2012 at 3:43 pm #

      Sounds exciting, inshAllah! I have a friend who is going to go first… she’s all ready and is starting tomorrow… I told her to look up your blog too. I really enjoy all of your posts and I hope the juice fast was a successful method of increasing “big girl-ness”. 😉

  11. Mari March 12, 2012 at 12:11 am #

    Assalamu Alaikum,

    Thanks for this post, it’s so refreshing to see a Muslima doing this- I have been out of touch and so hadn’t heard about the fad Sh. Hamza started.

    I’ve been pricing juicers- could you be more specific about which model you bought that’s better than the three-figure juicer models? Prettyplease! Frugal is as frugal does and that’s the one thing that I can do hands-down!


    • CollardGreenMuslim March 13, 2012 at 6:57 am #

      So glad you are enjoying the blog. The juice I purchased is: the Hamilton Beach 67650 Big Mouth Pro Juice Extractor. It was well-priced in its category. I use it everyday and Alhamdulilah it is going strong.


  1. Post-Fast: Brand Spankin’ New « Collard Green Muslim - February 1, 2012

    […] been four days since crossing the finish line on my ten-day juice fast. Since then, I’ve made radical dietary changes along with my family. Yes, it takes some […]

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